Only at FMS: Bacteria Farts

So, we're talking about bacteria to help get the kids ready for cell division. Part of the joy of today was that were were discussing the massive number of bacteria on the human body. "So when you sleep the bacteria in your mouth reproduce and munch on the food bits left in you teeth, especially if you don't brush your teeth first. As the bacteria break down the food they release gases, giving you stanky morning breath." "So morning breath is bacteria farts?" I nearly snorted I laughed so hard. For the rest of the day bad morning breath was referred to as bacteria farts. lol! I love my job

Only at FMS: Book Hating Chihuahuas

Me: *at my desk during study hall, doing attendance, writing passes, etc"
Kid: *whispers*
Me: ???? What?????
Kid: Is it windy today?
Me: ???? Um, I don't think so? Why?
Kid: I think I left my book at the bus stop.
Me: Ok?
Kid: *staring at me*
Me: What do you want me to do? All I know is that you better hope there's not a book hating chihuahua at your bus stop today.
Kid: *puzzled* Next Day Me: So, did you book survive or did a chihuahua get it? Kid: ???? Me: Did you find your book? Kid: Yep.

Only at FMS: Pants

So, this is sort of a second hand story today.  I was only there to hear the first part of the exchange.

Period 1
Kid: *lighter falls out of his pocket and bounces across the floor*
Teacher:  I'll just take that for you.
Kid: It's not mine, these aren't my pants.

So later, after lighter has been taken to the office the teacher and ap have him empty his pockets, check the locker, etc.  I get the whole scoop after all this goes down.

Apparently, the kid said multiple times, he was wearing his friend's pants.  My first thought, was "boys share pants?  do they share underoos too?"  lol.  Seriously, he apparently just grabbed his friend's pants this morning and threw them on.  Hmmm.  Honestly, I believe it, why on Earth would that be your first choice for a lie?

Moral of the story, when you borrow your friend's pants ALWAYS check their pockets.  The kid agreed this was probably wise.

Shared pants, muahh ha ha!

Only at FMS: Ghosts of Halloween Past

So yesterday I had a little flashback to students past and though it was too funny not to share...

First you need to know this was one of the years I taught resource room so I had the same group of special ed kids for language arts, science, and reading every day.  This meant I spent a lot of time with these kids and since I did this for multiple years in a row teaching both 7th and 8th grade I often had the same kids for two years 3 periods a day.  That's a lot of togetherness!

Every morning during the week before Halloween the announcement is made that no one is to wear their costumes to school.  Forward to the day after trick or treat.

Me: *Looking at kid, who is a small kid, because he looks "puffier" than usual. Continue to look at him all day trying to figure out why he looks different.  Finally, after at least an hour, I notice something blue sticking out of the neck of his shirt*
Me: *whispering* do you have your superman costume on under your clothes today?
Kid: *smiles* maybe
Me: It's the kind with the muscles built in isn't it?  What are you like clark kent today?
Kid: yep *smiles*

That's right he looked puffy because it was the costume with the built in muscles.  Love it!

Only at FMS: Toast?

"7th grader, synonymous with nerd"
Kid: "what?"
"You know, a synonym? You know about synonyms right?"
Kid2: "yeah, it's that stuff you put on toast, right"
"Exactly..."

Only at FMS: Stan Lee, Scientist?

We are studying different types of scientists and having the kids do some research to find interesting facts about famous scientists.

Kid: Can I research Stan Lee?
Me: Umm, no. Not a scientist, but thanks for trying.
Kid: But he creates characters that...
Me: No, but again nice try.  Keep looking.

This kid is new to our class and apparently doesn't know that you can't out-nerd me.  One of the kids is going to have to explain that to him or I'm just going to have to get that Big Nerd t-shirt I keep asking for.

Only at FMS: I am the walrus

Me: *coughing like an old school TB patient after a week and a half of a cold*
Kid: do you have a cold?
Teacher2: No! She's practicing her walrus call!